Tea-time with my significant other

Over the last few years, the ritual of having tea with my wife had devolved into both of us reading the newspaper or me paying more attention to my email than to what she was saying. She always worked very hard at spending quality time with me, to make conversation, but I was always too busy, I suppose.

This changed a couple of months ago, and here is how it happened.

We lost a friend to cancer in February and we visited the family in bereavement after the event. We were sharing memories about the departed, when his spouse brought out some tea for all of us.

Her face lit up with the most amazing smile when she said, "Tea-time was our we-time. With the first tea in the morning and when he got back from work, he would put everything else away and we would chat over tea. No newspapers, no phone calls, no chores while we had our tea. That time was sacrosanct." 

What amazed me was how strong and powerful the happy memory was. Here was a person who had lost her spouse, but the memory of her tea-time brought genuine joy to her face. It was not a bitter-sweet smile of reliving a fond memory. She was actually living the moment. On the drive back home, we decided that this was one change we would implement right away.

And ever since then, when my wife brings the tray with the tea, I put down my email, put down my phone and put down the newspaper. Nothing is more important than spending that much time with someone who has stuck with me through thick and thin, through good times and bad, through trials and through joy.

I should have known this and done this all along. 

Better late than never.