German engineering

I have been having a string of not-so-great experiences with things German. In a previous post I have written about my VW Polo which sounded and shuddered like a diesel tractor on start-up. And the parking-brake had a tendency to jam when clouds appeared.

Now I have a new German car and there appear to be gremlins in the software. It starts with the Infotainment system. In most cars, if you are playing a CD and you stop the car and then return a few hours later, the CD player remembers the position and starts playing from that point onward; a useful feature if you are listening to an audio-book. In my new car, the CD resets to the start of track 1. This in itself could be a programming oversight - but there is another bug at play. The display which usually reads Track 1 /12 (presuming the CD had 12 tracks) displays Track 0/0 when I get back in the car and restart. I have to switch the Audio system off and then on again for it to display the correct information. I have no way to get back to the point where I had stopped. I have to move forward a few tracks and listen to the last track all over again. Then this morning, the volume control did not work on the audio system. But I know the fix. Switch the system off and then on again and voila.

These are seemingly minor issues and I hope the dealership will upload a software patch when I take it in for servicing. There are a couple of other, bigger issues that really bother me though. During the rains, moisture condenses inside the headlamp units and refracts the headlight beam into a fuzzy dispersion. And here is the real kill-joy. When I sit in a hot car and crank the air-conditioner to full, the plastics in the car seem to protest by contracting rather violently and I have to put up with crackling sounds for the first few minutes of the drive. It is like sitting with a nice glass of scotch and listening to the ice-cubes crackle in the golden liquid. Except there is no scotch and nothing golden; only the maddening racket as I start to push random pieces of the dashboard and roof mounted consoles to try and get it over with.

The other day, I received a warning on the multi information display telling me that I needed to check my tyre pressure. Two of my tyres were at 210 kPa, one was at 205 kPa and the fourth at 215 kPa. Impressed, I went to a petrol pump to get my air checked. The attendant set it to the recommended setting and I was off. But the warning would not go away. I then had to travel for a few days and when I came back, the warning was gone.

'Big deal,' I hear you say, "so you have a few issues with your car. That is not reason enough to blame all things German."

Okay then, let's talk about German airlines. I tried buying a ticket on Lufthansa.com last month. I wished to fly one class of travel in one direction and a higher class of travel in the other. Most airlines, Jet Airways included, will allow you to choose the cabin class and fare class for each sector separately. Not Lufthansa. You have to buy the whole ticket in the lower class and then call their call center to upgrade. Unless of course, you start your flight search with 'Premium Economy' as your choice. Then the website offers you the choice of Premium Economy or Business Basic (restricted) or Business Flex on the same user interface and allows you to choose different classes for each direction of travel.

So I bought the lower fare and tried calling the call center. They said I would have make payment for the upgrade on an IVR interface, for which I had to call another number. When I called this other number, a recorded announcement said, "Please try again later," and disconnected the line. I called the call center and they could not help me make payment on the website or in any other form. I thought I would try at Bangalore airport. I handed my e-ticket to the agent at the airport ticketing counter and said that I wished to upgrade and asked if he could tell me how much it would cost. This is where things get surreal.

He said I could upgrade for miles, but not for real money. I stared at him long enough to make him uncomfortable, after which he said he would try. He fought his system for about 25 minutes before giving up and calling his supervisor over from the check-in counters. His supervisor then fought the system for another 20 minutes before they both decided that the agent was right in the first place. There was no way Lufthansa's systems would allow the airline to accept my money.

I shook my head and proceeded to check in. On my return from Europe, I figured it would be easier to fly to Pune via Delhi rather than Bangalore and tried to change my routing. I tried making the change on the website, but by now, and I am not making this up, the Lufthansa website allowed me to change the class of travel but not the sector. I called the call center again and they gave me a fare difference. I agreed to pay and was directed again to the IVR number which predictably told me to, "Please try again later." I called the call center again and then sent me a credit card authorization form that I needed to print, sign, scan and email back to them. Since I do not usually carry a printer with me when I travel, this was a little difficult to do. They finally agreed to charge my credit card upon receiving an authorization by email.

I could narrate a few stories about German appliances that a friend of mine has had so many problems with, that he has now decided to buy Japanese or Korean .

Thank you for putting up with my rant. I realize that I could have said my piece in one sentence.

German engineering is not all it's made out to be.